Just Shoot Me

Nest time I make any kind of major decision when I am sick... oiy... just shoot me. I need to have a disclaimer that anything that I might say or do when I am sick is null, void and can not be held against me.

When I am tired, and I mean really tired, I will get a head ache. Not one that a little Tylenol will fix either. It hurts the back of my head. I can't stand to have barrettes, or hair ties in my hair. Lights are too bright. I had one of these headaches around 9:00 Saturday night. Cailin was already asleep, and I was ready to go to sleep. It had rained, so my allergies were acting up as well. To make this wonderful headache even better, I also had a sinus headache on top of the tired headache. WONDERFUL! It was too late to take any kind of allergy medicine and still plan on sleeping that night.

The phone rings. It is the mom of a little girl that I used to babysit. I honestly think this woman is a little flaky, but that's just my non-professional, personal opinion. I can't put my finger on the exact thing, nor can I give any specific reason why I feel this person is flaky, I just do... This mom asks if I was working and if I was still babysitting and trying to start a day care. I told her that i was taking care of a little girl next door and that was about it. She asks if I am able to take care of her girl again just 2 days a week. The other days she is going to be going to pre-school. I tell her sure and then end the conversation so I can go to bed and get rid of my headache.

When I went to bed, I tossed and turned for over an hour trying to fall asleep. It just hurt so much. Since I was up with my head hurting, I was thinking about that dreaded call I just had before going to bed. What did I do? Why did I say I would do this again? I wasn't thrilled last time I did this... why try again? They left me with no notice. I felt stuck at my house because mom didn't like me going anywhere with the daughter. I couldn't even go to the library for story hour. Since I stopped taking care of the daughter, I had more freedom. Cailin and I (and sometimes her friend Natalie) have started going to a play group on Tuesday mornings. I have started going to MOPS at my church on every other Wednesday mornings. I go to lunch (with Cailin and Natalie) the 2nd Thursday of each month with the women's group at church. I enjoy this freedom. I can go be around adults. My daughter is around other kids her age and having a blast. I am not tied down to the house. Why oh why did I agree to do this again?

On Sunday, mom called again to set up days. I told her that I had commitments that I am not willing to give up. (MOPS, and Play group). I also told her that since she left me with no notice, I took another commitment with the Red Cross. I teach CPR/First Aid/AED all for layperson and for professional rescuers. I do not have a set schedule. I teach here and there when they need me. They have priority over babysitting. We agree that I will take the little girl on Thursday and Friday.

Well, Today is D-day. the girl showed up early and played quietly as my girl was still sleeping. About 30 minutes after she arrived, I asked if she would like breakfast. She tells me no. I let her know that we won't be eating till lunch time, so if she was hungry, she needed to eat now. She said no again and let me know she ate at home. I am not going to fix food when they are hungry... I am going to have a schedule, and try to stick with it... at least close to it. Anyway, 40 minutes later, Cailin wakes. I get her dressed and she eats a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast. 10 minutes after we finish, the little girl lets me know that she is hungry and wants to eat breakfast. I'm sorry... breakfast time is over. I am not a short order cook... kitchen is closed.

Lunch time rolls around and she tells me she is hungry. I fox 'ole faithful' PB&J for all 3 girls. Cailin and Natalie scarf theirs down as well as each eat 1/3 of an apple. The other little girl (who is starving if you ask her) plays with her sandwich. She ate about 1/4 of it and told me she was done. She is four years old... she can eat more than 1/4 of a sandwich. She wanted to get down and play with the other 2 who had already finished eating. I made her sit and finish eating. Mom called to check and see how things were going and I shared about the breakfast 'issue'. She seemed annoyed that I didn't fix something for her daughter then and there. I did offer a snack of crackers which she passed up, so she couldn't have been too starving.

I called chris and told him that i just had a bad feeling about this in my gut and that i was sorry I agreed to take on watching this girl again. His response: I am not even sure why you said yes in the first place. I thought you were done trying that and especially with this one since you had so much trouble with them before.

WHY DIDN"T YOU TELL ME THIS BEFORE I AGREED? The only reason I said yes is because I didn't want chris to think i wasn't pulling my weight in trying to earn some $. He told me that I didn't ask his opinoin... he's right... I didn't. It's my own fault. I think after tomorrow, i am going to tell the mom that i had a meeting with the red cross and they need me a lot more than I was planning and i am not going to be able to take care of the little girl. She doesn't need to know that i am only teaching 4-5 days a week. Who knows... maybe mom will be annoyed enough at me for not feeding her kid when she demanded and just not come back!!! That would be a blessing!